Newsletter Articles

by Jean T. D. Bandler, from the Winter 2020 Newsletter An important task for family and friends is writing about a loved one who has died – the lasting words for an obituary, death notice, eulogy, or grave stone. My interest began when callers occasionally asked how to sum up a life for a death…

by Gail White, Winter 2018 Newsletter I’ve always thought there is an uncomfortable gap between making a Living Will and a Do Not Resuscitate order and being sure that they would be followed.  Despite general conversations with my mother about her wishes, as her appointed healthcare representative, I worried more about this as she got…

A Baker’s Dozen of QuestionsProbably the answer is “yes”…if you can answer “yes” to these 13 questions: Please let us know of your experiences with funeral and cremation services—how did they score, which were ethical, which were not, and where were the lapses? We can check and read the printed price lists, but only an…

A five and one-half page article in the NY Times by Catherine Porter describes how shortly before John Shields planned to die, he planned his own Irish wake: “old fashioned with music and booze, except for one notable detail – he would be present. Then his family would take him home and he would die…

Last Letters Saying goodbye forever is always difficult both for the voyager and for those who stay. But worse still is leaving with no communication. I have always appreciated the good friends who let me know of their serious diagnosis or their move to hospice, and for the chance to exchange loving reminiscences, thoughts, and…

Two recent, distinctly different publications address end-of-life concerns and despite different audiences, format, and approaches, both focus of important considerations and share a common theme. End-of-life goals should emphasize quality rather than quantity of time, should be considered at all stages of life, since death can occur at any age, and should  help patients to…

Those Obits: “Died” and “passed away” remain the most frequent obituary verbs, but a reader sent in a new one: “breathed her last”. We also saw some open-ended ‘in lieu of flowers’ requests to give to; “a charity of your choice”, “educate children”, “promote the arts” or “take a moment to enjoy the melody of…

by Patricia Carr On September first, 2013, my father, age 100, died in Yeovil, Somerset, a pretty county town where he and my mother had lived for close on thirty years until my mother died in 2005. Both parents had opted for cremation, and on each occasion it was conducted by a funeral home at…

Is embalming required? NO. It is not required for either cremation or for burial. Funeral homes may have “policies” requiring embalming for viewings or funerals with the body present, but there are no laws requiring this. Funeral homes may urge embalming if burial is delayed, but refrigeration is a viable alternative. Cremation and Immediate Burial…

by Valerie Friedman I believe that it is our responsibility to our loved ones to prepare what is referred to as a “letter of final instruction”. It provides someone who would have to step into our shoes with all the information they need to handle our affairs if we are unable to do so, because…